Today while I was trying to talk with my cousin over lunch, my two year old decided to climb the booth like a ladder. He really enjoys poking his fingers through the slats to see if the person behind us is interested in sharing his salsa covered chips. Luckily no one had a tantrum and thankfully the restaurant was loud. This got me thinking about my life as a mother… of two. The life of a mother of two is interesting. The memory that sticks out the most to me was our first venture out of the house. It went fairly well... wait for it. We went for our two week and two year checkups. I had thought about how I was going to tackle this. My sweet husband was meeting us at the clinic. On the way there my he called and said he couldn’t make it, two machines at work had broken down. I was worried but decided I can handle this! I latched the baby in the stroller and let the toddler walk. Mistake. Number. One. (Advice to all parents expecting their second child, ALWAYS RESTRAIN THE TODDLER!) We did well throughout the checkup. My son was busy with snacks and peeling stickers off the chart over the scale. I, now teaching my childbirth classes, decided I’d like to bring some cards and fliers to the nurse manager. Since both kids were doing well I thought, “Perfect timing, I am here anyway.” Mistake. Number. Two. I wheeled the baby and had to drag the toddler into this nice man’s office. I had to go back and chase the toddler down the hall and bring him back into the room. I asked if I could close the door behind me, corralling my monkey into his office. The baby started screaming, she didn’t stop. My son decided to pull at everything on the desk, touch outlets, pull his shoes off and throw them. (Bribing him with suckers was not working this time.) I was trying to sell myself and birth boot camp to the nurse manager all while trying to tame my two zoo animals. Good thing he was a father of four, I prayed he understood. I tried to get through the meeting, whilst shooshing the baby and chasing the toddler around this small office. On the way out I myself lost a shoe, just to add icing on this terribly burnt cake. When we got to the first floor my son would not leave. He was determined to drink all of the water that the water fountain had to offer. It took about five minute of coaxing before I picked him up and carried him head first out of the clinic, while pushing the now sleeping baby in the stroller… I continue to leave the house with my two sweet love bugs. Why? Because I tell myself I can do it. If a tantrum ensues, or salsa covered chips fly, it's not the end of the world right? Life as a mother is beautiful, exhausting, hilarious and often messy. If I see you mama, struggling with your zoo animals, I will give you a reassuring smile and a helping hand. I know where you’re at and I’ve been there. This stage of life is beautiful, messy, and fun. I'm so going to miss this. Cheers - May your coffee be stronger than your toddler!
1 Comment
What’s more important: childbirth education or having a doula? My answer, you need both! When I was pregnant with my first child, I didn’t want to spend the money on both. After convincing my husband, we luckily decide to get both. After having my son, I truly couldn’t tell you which was more important. Without education, I wouldn’t have known what was going on during labor. When going through labor, one’s mind changes. I became quiet and went into my mind, it was hard to speak. I was only able to listen to my doula and my husband. They were quietly cheering me on, reassuring me that everything was going well. I could tell what my body was doing and how I was progressing through labor because I had studied it so much. I knew when I was in transition, and even though it was incredibly difficult I knew the hard part was almost over. I knew how to breathe my baby out and how to use my pain to guide me through pushing. When I think about labor without a doula, I really don’t think I could’ve done it. Even though I was educated; like I said, your mind changes. You can’t make decisions clearly. It is hard to even talk at times. My husband wouldn’t have been confident that things were going well. He wouldn't have known how to support me. I think I would’ve read off of his anxiety and not been able to stay calm. Being educated is imperative to having the base of knowledge needed to be present and confident in your ability to birth your baby. You need to know what’s going on to be able to advocate for yourself. If things change and you need to make important decisions, you know what interventions you want and what path you want to take. A doula not only sits by your side the entire labor, she supports dad. She shows him that things are going well, and can help catch signs that something is going wrong. They are that constant, calm voice of reason. The difference between my two births was my husband. During my first birth, he sat quietly reassuring me, following my doulas lead. She showed him how to support me. After birth, he was in shock. He just smiled but I could tell he couldn’t believe what we just did! During my second birth he was my active supporter. My doula was the one this time who sat quietly supporting me. He confidently caught our baby and was calm and relaxed after birth. The education we received and what our doula showed him during out first birth experience empowered him and made him confident in his ability to support me. He knew things were going well and what I needed from him. Long story short: birth is a big deal and you need to be prepared. Setting up your birth team with educated people that you trust is imperative to having a great birth experience. You only get one chance to birth your baby, spend the time now to ensure you are prepared. We all know those people who have the calmest, most content baby’s on the block. They "sleep through the night by six weeks" and just lay around and smile... Well when I had my first child, those people were... hard to talk to. By week two, my husband and I found ourselves with a tiny human who only wanted to nurse or cry. He was inconsolable. I knew no different. He was only content while nursing. So that is what we did. We nursed ALL. THE. TIME. Along with the nonstop daily screaming, my son had a facial rash that looked like red acne, and mucous filled stools. I went to a breastfeeding support group and they suggested I try cutting dairy from my diet. I didn't want to do that and hoped he would just become a happier baby. When my son was six weeks old we attended my grandma's birthday party. Jonah screamed the entire time. My mom, grandma and aunts all kept saying something was "wrong" with him. When anyone tells you something is wrong with your child you immediately get defensive. I didn’t want anything to be “wrong” with my child. I tried my best to soothe him, but I was feeling defeated. I went back to the breastfeeding support group. I was desperate decided to try a dairy free diet like they recommended previously. I cut every source of dairy from my diet. Within one week my son’s stools no longer had mucous and looked like normal breastfed baby poo. His facial rash also disappeared. I was excited that such a simple thing was helping him. Being a newly breastfeeding mama I was STARVING… all the time. During my pregnancy I craved dairy. I ate cereal and yogurt every day and I sure liked my ice cream. Being starving and not being able to eat my favorite foods was torture. I was willing to do it though because I wanted to take my baby’s pain away. I was upset to find that Jonah was still screaming all day. I went to my chiropractor and she suggested I cut soy, the second most common dietary culprit. I had just started to get the hang of a dairy free diet, and replaced a lot of it with soy based products. I now had to replace BOTH of them. I was now not only hungry, I was HANGRY. My poor husband would come home from work and I would scream "I NEED FOOD!" Soon I found online support groups on Facebook. These women seemed like professionals and had tons of great recipes and tips to help me. I quickly found food substitutions that I liked and a few restaurants that were accommodating to my diet. Within two more weeks my son was like a new person! He was no longer crying all day. He was no longer in pain. It was so amazing to see. I knew that this new diet was worth the hassle. People ask why I would do something so drastic and why I wouldn’t just put him on formula. Well first of all, I have always wanted to breastfeed. I wanted the bond and benefits for myself and my baby. Secondly, formula is dairy based, or soy based. If you want something allergen free, it is very expensive. These formulas are made up of broken down proteins and are able to be digested without an immune reaction. Research shows these formulas will work in 90% of babies with cow milk protein intolerance. After 6-12 months being dairy free, a baby can be challenged with cow's milk, and if they don't have a reaction, it can be reintroduced. It is important to check with your baby's doctor about when and how to reintroduce allergens back into their diets. Food intolerance often runs in families. Symptoms include: fussiness, infrequent watery stools which may contain mucous or blood, reflux, spitting up, nasal congestion, skin rash, weight loss, or repeated vomiting. As a treatment, the breastfeeding mom should remove the irritant from her diet. The commitment is hard but worth it. Continuing to breastfeed is still the best nutrition for your baby and the immunities breastfeeding provides will assist in the healing process for your baby. Babies with milk/soy protein intolerance also do better if solid foods are not introduced until around 6 months of age. Ask your healthcare provider in what order to introduce solid foods. A dietitian can direct you to certain food items and brands that are milk and soy free, and help find hidden sources of dairy and soy in foods and drinks. The dietitian will also make sure you are getting the nutrients that you need while breastfeeding and suggest non-dairy food sources of calcium. Dairy and soy sensitivities are common. It is hard to have an unhappy baby but getting to the bottom of the issue is important. It is important for mom to have a healthy gut. Ways to improve your gut is to start your pregnancy out with a healthy diet full of whole foods. Taking a good probiotic and a digestive enzyme can also be helpful. Probiotics help normalize the digestive flora in the gut and they work with digestive enzymes to break down the foods eaten so they don't cause damage to the digestive tract. If our gut isn't healthy or we don't have normal flora or enzymes, then the larger proteins get into our milk and irritate the baby's digestive tract, leading to sensitivities. If you find yourself facing this problem seek out help. Find an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in your area and trouble shoot with them. It is helpful to try an elimination diet to get to the root of the problem. Know you’re not alone, and things will get better. Keep advocating for your babe and soon you’ll get the hang of things. P.S. I have a ton of great food alternative tips if you are needing a little help. I'd love to chat. Milk Soy Protein Intolerance [Online] November, 15, 2015. What is MSPI? Complete Children's Health. [Online] August 21, 2014. Cow's Milk Protein Intolerance. GI Kids. [Online] August 14, 2014. Mellanie Shepard, IBCLC |
AuthorPaige Goldade - A Birth Boot Camp Instructor living and loving in South Dakota. She is a wife and mother of two rambunctious toddlers. She works as a childbirth educator and Board Certified Registered Nurse.Categories
All
Archives
April 2020
|